i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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