i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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