i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
PANTIES FOUND
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