I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
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he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
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