just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
