I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
