He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
