who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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