Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
