ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
