I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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