The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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