Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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