if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Randomize
