Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize