I faked an abortion last night.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize