god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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