Me. At least after what I've been through.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
