So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
