My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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