Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
