no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
