We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I think my vagina is haunted
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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