I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
