we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Randomize
