I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
i out mim tonsoeep
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