your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
