we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
