My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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