i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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