If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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