Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
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