legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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