Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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