hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize