I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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