I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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