If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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