Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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