He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
