It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It's blow job season.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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