What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
