I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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