:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
