oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
grandma shit on top of the toilet
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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