This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
