Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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