You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
