Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
