just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
