i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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