youre lurking in front of me
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
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We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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