carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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