Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
How external is "for external use only"?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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