I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
