oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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