It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize