Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
two words...techno handjob
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Mom said you looked used
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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