literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
