I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
