She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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