i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
