did you get engaged???
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
