Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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