We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
