I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
