Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
