i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
