Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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