Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
