Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
