Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm sobbing to NWA
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
