yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
